Tuesday, January 31, 2006

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life...

My friends are trying to teach me to dance. Not that I can't dance, I can. If you can call beebopping in a "Go Go's We Got the Beat up and down look I'm moving my feet" motion dancing. I tend to bop in place, up/down, up/down, wiggling my body like a puppy that's happy to see ya. It doesn't help at all that I have a problem hearing the rhythm unless it is glaringly obvious in a boomph-boomph-boomph kind of way.

In an effort to make me look less painfully obvious on the dance floor, my friends are teaching me to listen to the bass, not the treble in a song. They're also teaching me to shake my moneymaker. Right now my moneymaker would pull in a net profit of a dime and a balled up gum wrapper. And probably a business card for a dance instructor. I'm learning how to move my hips from side to side with a hint of a snap, a dash of sass and hopefully, a lot of sexy come hither-ness. I don't quite know what to do with my arms and hands yet, so I've kept them somewhat contained to avoid appearing to be suffering from a seizure when I'm grooving to Global Deejay's The Sound of San Francisco.

I love to dance. And I would so love to dance well. I watch the good dancers in my life with both envy and appreciation. To be able to lose myself in the music, body rockin' to the pulsing beat and actually look good doing it would be amazing. I'm terribly jealous of my friends who can close their eyes and let themselves bump, grind, sway and shake through a song, looking like they don't care if they're the only one on the floor because they are having a helluva time on their own. I want to be the dancer that someone stops and watches for a moment with admiration and pleasure.

I've been assured I'm showing improvement. I'll keep ya'll posted. Is there anyone out there with two left feet like me?

14 comments:

Frederick Reinhardt said...

I'm not speaking to you.

Frederick Reinhardt said...

EVER.

Frederick Reinhardt said...

You're DIME.

Frederick Reinhardt said...

Last blog comment EVER.

Frederick Reinhardt said...

Oh, and I've seen you dance. It ain't cute. :-)

Kaya said...

Oh, Freddy!! You can stop being mad. I'd say more but then you'd accuse me of airing your dirty drawers in my very public blog. I adore you, now stop being hateful. You know you love me, even though it's true that my dancing ain't cute.

Remember the good bar times, when we'd go to Angles in OKC and dance our asses off to Erasure, Madonna, Wilson Phillips (you know you loved them), Bell Biv Devoe and Technotronic, among others?

Anonymous said...

Good COMMENTS Frederick! ...actually, GREAT COMMENTS.

Leslie said...

I look like a cross between a monkey, J-Lo and Elaine on Seinfeld when I dance...and I don't give a sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.

P.S. What got Frederick's panties all in a wad?

Kaya said...

I promise you don't look like a total dork when you dance, Leslie. You know when you swing that bootylicious backside of your's half the bar swoons. The other half are making vicious comments about you in their desperate need to feel a tenth as sexy as you are.

You'll have to ask Frederick what exactly has his thong twisted. Or Jed. Or Darla.

As for me, I wouldn't DREAM of telling you his personal business for fear it may spur him to do something good for himself. I know life's headlines are usually broadcast in my "television, telephone, telekaya" kind of way, but in this case I truly didn't "teleanyone".

Kaya said...

For the record, the only other person in my life that tried to teach me to dance (not counting two stepping) is Amber Barnard...don't know her married name. She's the older sister of my best friend growing up in W. Monroe, La. Jamette, if you're out there, please tell Amber I am still trying to make her proud.

KAY'S FAVORITE OLD NIECE said...

hola Tia!
i've seen you dance... and yes, when it comes to dancin, girl you are white... you need to summonds your hispanic side for rhythm.. maybe start with some salsa dancing. have you ever seen your brother dance... you are definately much better than him, close your eyes and imagine what grampa would do.. :)

FREDERICK - YOU AND KAY LOVE EACH OTHER.... CONGRATS ON YOUR GROWING FAMILY!!! CANT YOU GUYS KISS AND MAKE UP?

FYI- have ultrasound at 11:00EST.. will find out if bambino is coming early..

Hugs to all you crazy peeps in Austin!

Missychel said...

Wow....I don't thing I have ever seen you dance or if I have I was too drunck to remember or care. Y

Ya know I have never given much thought about how painful it must be to have no "moves". I have taken a hip-hop class and have felt your pain. I am not sure how you can be decent at one style and a complete moron at another....but I am.

Now when it comes to generic club dancing I have no issues....I actually use to get paid to shake my stuff way back in the day. I must say that that was on of the craziest, most fun jobs I have ever had....up on a pedestal(queen complex), getting paid to groove all night PLUS an open bar tab. What more could a single, early twenty something want? And what a way to meet men....:)

I have tons of great stories from those days. Good happy hour topic for the future....speakin of...when is that going to happen?

TwinKim said...

If you learn to dance, I'll be the lone twin who can't. Then again, you can't belly dance and I can. Belly dancing is much easier than club dancing. It's very controlled and the music usually has a firm beat that is easy to hear.

I'm hopeless when it comes to singing and dancing. Good thing I'm breathtakingly beautiful and a great cook, LOL!

Why isn't Frederick speaking to you? Did he try a dance intervention with you in the past but you fell off the wagon and returned to your Devo dance ways?

And Niece, when is that baby coming?

Favorite Old Niece said...

grrniece should be here anytime between now and march... she is measuring ahead of the game in size but they are leaving my due date at 2/26/06... everything is good, healthy... just got to pack a bag. i sent kay her latest pictures. she should share