Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Murder by Microwave

Just when I think the world has become as cruel and disturbing as it can possibly be, something happens to prove my assumption to be incorrect. Today's horrific news is that a mother in Ohio has been charged with murdering her 3 1/2 week old baby girl. She microwaved her to death. It's the second recorded case of using a microwave to kill an infant.

Who would burn a baby to death in a microwave? You would have to be insane to place a child in an appliance used for cooking, don't you think? The mother, however, is clueless as to how her baby, Paris, died. China Arnold told reporters "They told me that someone had cooked her. I don't know why anyone would do that to her."

The cause of death for baby Paris is listed as homocide caused by hyperthermia due to thermal injury. The county coroner's office has sufficient scientific reason to believe the high body temperature fatality is related to microwave ovens.

Saturday, November 25, 2006


It's been a different holiday for me. My parents are visiting my siblings in Missouri and North Carolina and I'm staying at their house with our lab, Karma. This is the first holiday in many years that I haven't spent with Frank. He's at home in El Paso catching up on family gossip, playing with the babies and relaxing with his parents. Since I'm home alone, I've let Karma sleep inside every night. She'll be spoiled rotten by the time my parents come home.

David, soon to be the newest roommate in our house, invited me to his family's lunchtime celebration. I make it a rule to never show up empty handed, so in addition to the bottles of pinot noir and riesling I'd picked out, I made some munchies. I'd run across a super easy recipe for chili cheese bites in a cookbook. The bites are similar to cheese straws, only round, and are made with sharp cheddar and green chilies. After a few cocktails they became known as Nacho Balls. I am so junior high still.

My roommate Darren's parents arrived just before I did. There was a houseful of relatives and friends, and most of us headed straight for the alcoholic bevies. I was surprised at my reaction to seeing my roomie. I'd been away from home since the weekend and spotting him across the room made me realize how much I miss home. And our pug o'love, Harley. Not so much the cat. Jenny Craig has lost weight, though. The cat was the size of a small bathmat when I moved in.

Darren and I have a comfortable routine at home, one that is peaceful and easy, except of course at Hallowine, the Asian Invasion Persuasion Celebrazion (work with me, people) and a few other social events. Aside from our crazy social life, I had been craving stability and calmness at home. It would help if I'd finish unpacking. It's on the To Do list for this month...and the beginning of December. I've meandered off topic, though. The point is, I was thankful to see my roommate.

After plates full of food and too much wine, I headed home to make sweet potatoes before my next stop. Thanksgiving dinner was at Frederick & Jed's house, the first one with both kids. This time last year we didn't know yet that Nate had been born and was in a Georgetown foster home. I finished sobering up with more food and a huge glass of water and watched Nate smear mashed potatoes on his face in an attempt to get them in his mouth. I adore my nephews. Adrian is talking up a storm, an animated tiny wonder. Nate is still an incredibly happy baby.

I rounded out the holiday evening by meeting Margie at the Can for a drink. Or two. Or six. Yikes. Darren and David came by later and we had lots of laughs, mostly at each other's expense. I had a text from Travis, one of the barbacks, that he was enjoying Thanksgiving in Slovakia, in Central Europe. And you wonder why a straight man would work in a gay bar? It's profitable.

It was certainly a rum soaked evening, and I paid for it on Friday, when I woke up all headachey. I keep forgetting I'm not 22 anymore. I'm sure some of my imbibing was to chase off the demons that have been troubling me of late. I spent a little time with Rockett on Friday, shopping at Victoria's Secret. We both made purchases that lifted our spirits. What girl doesn't need pink low rise undies edged with claret colored lace and the words "Rosy Cheeks" silkscreened across the back?

The rest of the afternoon and evening I spent in quiet reflection. I read, watched a movie and communed with Karma, who mostly lay snoring on the living room floor. I thought about what I want to change in my life, what has already changed in my life and the adventures that are still to come. I mulled over my friendships and family and chosen families and how much I appreciate all of you. Alone in my parent's living room, dog at my feet, I was thankful.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Useless Info About Me

Ripped off of a myspace bulletin...

Name: Kay
Eye color: blue, unless I'm angry, then they turn grey
Shoe size: 7 1/2 usually
Height: 5' 3.25" Yes, adding that quarter inch means a lot to me
What are you wearing right now?: Old Navy 3/4 length sleeve broadcloth shirt with taupe, blue, green, mauve and lavendar stripes (sounds less attractive than it looks) and coordinating Old Navy pants that ummm...I think Frank bought for me.
Righty or lefty: Righty tighty, lefty loosey

Kind of pants: Old Navy jeans
Animal: dogs
Drink: prosecco or Coke Zero if I'm not drinking H2O
Month: July
Juice: Orange with pulp unless I'm drinking mimosas...then it's pulp free, baby.
Favorite cartoon: Love the old school stuff like Bugs Bunny when Elmer Fudd does the take off on Wagner's operas such as Die Walk├╝rie and sings "Kill the wabbit".

Have You Ever:
Given anyone a bath? Yeppers
Bungee Jumped? No
Made yourself throw-up? Yes
Skinny dipped? Does anyone remember my summer of Hippie Hollow? Yes.
Loved someone so much it made you cry? Yes, damnit.
Played truth or dare: Uh, this is me we're talking about. Of course.
Been in a physical fight: Yes
Been on a plane: Yes
Came close to dying: No
Been in a hot tub: Yes
Fallen asleep in school: No
Fell asleep in the arms of a person you like: Yes
Made out with an ex: Sadly, yes.
Got caught passing a note in class: Yes, by my 4th grade English teacher.
Ran away: No, but I threatened to until I realized I didn't have any money to feed my dog...for some reason I didn't worry about food for myself.
Broken someone's heart: Yes
Cried when someone died: Yes
Fell off your chair: I've fallen off a bar stool in a dive on Bourbon Street.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Yes
Saved AIM conversations: No
Used someone: Yes
Been cheated on: Yes

What Is:
Last thing you ate:Pok-e-Jo's sliced brisket sandwich, potato casserole, pickles and sweet tea

Ever Had:
Chicken pox: Yes
Sore Throat:Yes
Stitches: Yes

Do You:
Believe in love at first sight: Not sure but I believe in lust at first glance!
Long distance relationships: Maybe
Like school: Not 100% of the time
Question yourself: Yes, who doesn't?
Who was the last person that called you?: Rockett
Who makes you smile the most: my friends
Who knows you the best? FAR, FSIII, DWG
Do you like filling these out: Sometimes it's entertaining
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses: Nope
Do you get along with your family? Yes

Few More Questions:
What did you do yesterday? Worked, did my Meals on Wheels run, helped out with my nephews for a few minutes before Heather arrived
What car/truck do you wish to have? Sport Ka!!
How many remote controls are in your house?: I don't know...maybe 3?
Are you double jointed? No, but it hasn't held me back.
When you last showered: This morning
Scary or Funny Movies: Both
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate, preferably dark
Rootbeer or Dr.Pepper: Dr. Pepper
Summer or winter: Summer
Silver or Gold: Platinum!
Diamond or pearl: Diamonds
Sprite or 7up: Either
Coffee or tea: Coffee in the morning, tea in the afternoon
Phone or in person: in person

Today did you:
Buy something: Gasoline
Get sick: No
Talked to an ex: Nope
Miss someone: Yes

Last person who:
Slept in your bed? Besides me? My roommate's friend Brian.
Saw/heard you cry: One of my friends
Made you cry? I make myself cry.
Said "I Love You" to: Adrian
Ever been in a fight with your pet: No
Been to Canada: No
Been to Europe: No

Do you have a crush on someone right now: No
What book are you reading now: Just starting a new one by Benjamin Saenz, can't remember the title
Future kids names: Who knows?
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No
What's under your bed: Nothing
Favorite sports to watch: UFC on tv or in person OR basketball/football in person.
Favorite Locations: Austin and Yellowstone National Park are two...I have more.
Tattoos or piercings: Piercings, thinking about a tat
What are you most scared of right now? Not realizing my dreams.
Who do you really hate?: Hmmm...can't think of anyone.
Do you have a job? Yes
Have you ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with: Yes
Are you lonely right now? A little.
Song that's stuck in your head right now? "Feelin' Groovy"---don't ask.
Have you ever played strip poker: Yes
Have you ever gotten beat up? Yes
Have you ever been on radio/TV: Yes to both
Have you ever been in a mosh-pit: No
Ever liked someone, but thought they never noticed?: Yes

More Random
What color is your underwear right now? Forest green
What’s the first things you notice about the opposite sex? Smile
Your Favorite Food?: Tied between seafood & Tex Mex!
Ever get so drunk you don’t remember? Yes, sadly.
Are you too shy to ask someone out?: I don't know...maybe, maybe not.
Hugs or Kisses? /Both
Dogs or cats?: Allergic to most cats, so dogs. Nothing against cats.
Favorite Flower?: Stargazer lilies
Have you ever fired a gun? Yes, own several
How many pillows do you sleep with? 5, four regular sized and 1 tiny one.
Who are you missing right now: Several people. Ya'll know who you are, and why I miss you.

Model Dies of Complications From Anorexia

Brazilian fashion model Ana Carolina Reston died last week after an anorexia-related infection further ravaged her 5' 8" tall, 88lb body. The body so many had sought to photograph in luxurious clothing and promote to the world as an object of beauty. She was 21 years old. Her mother had pleaded with her daughter to eat more food.

Her death follows the one of Luisel Ramos of Uruguay. Ramos collapsed at a fashion show in Montevideo in August. Her official cause of death is listed as heart failure, but she had been subsisting for weeks on a diet described as "green leaves and diet Coke". She wasn't famous but had been told she would become a sensation if she'd only lose weight.
Women die every day because of their quest to live up to the unhealthy standards society places upon us. Girls are pressured into believing you can't be successful, loveable or happy unless you're wearing single digit clothing sizes. Eating disorders will continue to be a dangerous problem in society while we feature only gorgeous, thin actresses on television and in film. Every once in a while, you see an actress who looks like a real person, such as Chandra Wilson or Sara Ramirez (Drs. Bailey and Torres) on "Grey's Anatomy" but most of the time it is a size 2 to 4 beautiful woman playing the role.
It's time to teach our children what appropriate, healthy weights are and how being severely underweight is just as damaging as being obese.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Wind It Up

The most bizarre moment of my weekend happened while I was driving down Mopac listening to the radio. I heard Gwen Stefani's song "Wind It Up" for the first time. The first single from her newest album is interesting.

I wonder if her fans are as fond of Broadway musicals as Gwen? She sampled Fiddler on the Roof's "If I Were a Rich Man" in her "Rich Girl" song from her debut solo album. Her newest single samples another musical, this time Rodgers & Hammerstein favorite "The Sound of Music". Yes, Gwen yodels like the best Maria Von Trapp since Julie Andrews. "Wind It Up" samples "The Lonely Goatherd" song although her song lyrics seem to have little else in common with the R&H one, other than they both touch on communication between boys and girls and a reference to Stefani's clothing line, L.A.M.B.

Wanna see the video? Since I don't know how to embed in blogs, check it out here.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Hypocrites and Double Lives

The recent scandal involving Ted Haggard, the leader of the evangelical New Life Church in Colorado Springs is still news in my community. A lot of the discussion centers on the opinion that straight men cheating on their spouses are dogs no matter what gender they've chosen for their affair. The rest of it is evenly split between laughing over a hypocrite leading a double life who ignored the "hell hath no fury like a homo scorned" adage and the humorous fodder floating around the internet in the form of videos posted on google or youtube. One of my favorites is from a CBC Canada talk show and is titled "Meth and Man Ass". There's also a funny one on youtube that splices various pics of Haggard into a Village People video of, you guessed it, "Macho Man".

What was Haggard thinking? That he could have secret liasons with a gay man for years and still be the voice of Coloradoans against gay marriage? Ted, honey, you pissed off the wrong "massage therapist" which in the gay world isn't always but a lot of the time can be a euphemism for prostitute. And since Mike Jones (see pic here) has publicly declared his rent boy status, we can be sure the only massaging going on was strictly for a happy ending. And, jeez, you conducted the rendezvous for several years, which in the gay male world positively qualifies you as an old married couple. Now that is hypocrisy.

I think about his wife and five kids, who undoubtedly had to be angry and confused, but also completely humiliated that their high profile Christian leader of a husband and father engaged in activity they believe is sinful and evil and had the information splashed across the national news and internet. I feel badly for his 14,000 member congregation, especially those attending the CrossCurrent group.

CrossCurrent is an 8 week "Christ centered group" for adults looking for healing and direction in the areas of sexuality and relationships. They offer a "safe place" to deal with feelings of homosexuality. Gee, Ted, it might've been safer to explore your homocentric nature at one of the group meetings than in Mike's bedroom. I'm betting some Mo's have left your CrossCurrent group and aren't going to show up at a church service anytime soon.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Divorcing Celeb Couple in Town!

This weekend events that I missed out on due to my cold included a friend getting booted from a table at The Belmont so that Ryan Phillipe and a few friends could nab the spot. The hunky soon to be ex-Mr. Reese Witherspoon did buy a round for our obliging man about town, Brian. Phillipe made quite the scene at Kenichi recently, when he arranged for a curtain to be brought in and drawn around his table for privacy. He didn't want anyone to intrude on his make out session with Abbie Cornish, his co-star in the just wrapped film "Stop Loss". The two were celebrating the last day of filming with sushi and more. Reese was seen at Austin Java yesterday evening with an unidentified man and dog, eating a chicken sandwich and smiling at patrons who recognized her. Don't know why she'd be in the same town as her cheatin' man, unless she was simply bringing the children to visit their father.

Today's Bizarro News

I love the news. Here are some of my favorite stories today.

  1. Naked parolee arrested for concealed weapon. Not only did he have an electrical tape covered weapon in his rectum, but also he was lying on a tree stump, masturbating by a nature trail.
  2. A dead South Dakota woman won her race to become county commissioner and another dead Houston woman was re-elected to the Texas House of Representatives. What an ego blow to their live opponents!
  3. The tropical island paradise of Barbados is being overrun by ravenous giant snails, prompting a nocturnal snail hunt last weekend. The hunts will be ongoing for a few more weekends, with volunteers concentrating on the breeding grounds where the snails emerge at nightfall after a day spent underground. This is better than a made-for-tv-movie on the Sci Fi channel, folks.
  4. A 22 year old New Jersey woman is suing a Manhattan bar for injuries received in a "Shake-It-Like-Shakira" contest. She says she only had 2 drinks. Yeah, right.
  5. And today the Ukraine receives my vote for most unappealing chocolate treat. Salo, long a popular foodstuff, is now being dipped in chocolate for wider appeal. This is one "exotic food" that I promise you I won't be tasting.
  6. The chairman of the board of the Canadian Broadcast Company, Guy Fournier, voluntarily resigned amid uproar over controversial remarks he's made. It seems he believes that bestiality is okay in Lebanon, as long as the animal is a female. He also stated that in old age, a satisfying poo is more physically pleasurable and happens more often than an orgasm.
  7. Inmates in the Dallas County, Missouri jail are back in their newly painted cells. The redecoration features pink walls with blue teddy bear accents.
  8. An 8,000 calorie burger has hit the market in the U.S. Sold at Tempe, Arizona's Heart Attack Grill, the sandwich comes with a side of Flatliner Fries and either a soda or beer. And I thought the chocolate covered salo was a bad idea. It probably has less calories.
  9. In the U.K, a 2 year old toddler is mugged for his cell phone. Even more entertaining is that he was holding his father's phone after the dad bribed him with it in exchange for getting the boy to give up a chocolate candy.
  10. Doctors are amazed at the objects found concealed in the fold and crevices of a 500lb woman's body. Lost your remote control recently?

Monday, November 06, 2006


My quote of the day that has me thinking and re-thinking and struggling to stretch my mind past the limitations I've imposed upon myself.

"We will come to understand the part a difficult circumstance has played in our lives. Hindsight makes so much clear. The broken marriage, the lost job, the loneliness have all contributed to who we are becoming. The joy of the wisdom we are acquiring is that hindsight comes more quickly. We can, on occasion, begin to accept a difficult situation's contribution to our wholeness while caught in the turmoil."

~KAREN CASEY, Each Day a New Beginning

Now if only the part about "hindsight comes more quickly" were true for me...ah well, live and learn. That's what it's all about, I suppose.

FunFunFun Fest!

Yes, another music festival! But this time it will be cooler temps and hot music headlining at Waterloo Park on December 1st. The FunFunFun Fest features three stages: Punk, Indie and Austin Fusion VJ/DJ. You can catch Spoon, Circle Jerks, Riverboat Gamblers and Thomas Turner's Ghostland Observatory DJ Set. Tix are $20 and available online here. No pets or outside food & bevies allowed.

This one day event can be just the kickoff you need for a night of live music. Gates open at 1pm, music starts at 2pm and stops at 10pm, just in time for you to hit the Warehouse District or Red River for more, more, more. Or leave an hour early and catch Ziggy Marley at La Zona Rosa. And for those of you in my age bracket or a bit older, head straight for Antone's and sing along at the K-Tel Hit Machine and the Tosca Strings show at 10pm. K-Tel Hit Machine made their mark on the 2006 Austin Chronicle Best Of as the "best reason to pawn your karaoke machine".

Uncharacteristically Quiet

The headline says it all. From Friday at 4pm until this morning my car left the driveway only once, and only because I couldn't avoid it. I have been stuck down by the most passed around virus of all (get your mind out of the gutters), the common cold. Just how much snot can the human head hold? One website claims that on the peak day of a cold the amount produced is equal to half an ounce. I'm willing to wager that I've produced half an ounce in half an hour.

So wave your tissues at me in sympathy and pass me some chicken soup. I spent my weekend either in bed or on the couch, in jammies almost 100% of the time and watched more television than I've seen in years. Actually, if you added up the hours I spent watching t.v. this weekend it is probably about what I view in a month or more. Let's just say that yes, I did see Flava Flav reunited with Deelishus on the last episode of Flavor of Love Season 2. I just can't accept that there are women in this world who finds the Public Enemy rapper attractive. He's ghetto rank. And no, that isn't some new hipster phrase that means the opposite of what Webster says. I mean he is nothing but street disgusting. Any man who can father 6 children (a 7th is on the way) and not pay child support doesn't deserve any part of the good life.