Thursday, September 28, 2006

Kay Was Arrested...

One of the bulletins going around myspace is the "...was arrested for..." one. You google your name and the phrase "was arrested for" and see what pops up. Here, according to Google, are my legal woes:

1. Kay was arrested for statutory rape on February 26, 1997 after Steve discovered love letters.

2. Kay was arrested this morning after allegedly attacking a photographer outside a London nightclub.

3. Kay was arrested and charged with improper disposition of human remains.

4. Kay has been arrested for alleged domestic violence.

5. Kay was arrested on a charge of child rape. She insisted it was love.

6. Kay was arrested after police found a human hand in a jar of formaldehyde and six human skulls in her basement.

7. Kay, who twice has violated the National Football League's substance-abuse policy, was arrested in Aurora, Colorado.

8. Kay was arrested late Friday, two days after authorities said she skipped a court appearance.

9. Kay was arrested after revealing to fellow workers in the office that he practiced Falun Gong.

10. Kay was arrested for abandoning a child.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Rocky Horror Picture Show Storms the Stage at Zach Scott!

The campy, vampy Rocky Horror Picture Show struts its fishnet stockinged self across the stage at the Zach Scott Theater starting October 5th. The production, once named Best Musical in Austin, will run for slightly over a month. An acquaintance of mine is playing Rocky, so you know I'm buying a ticket. Besides knowing one of the cast, this musical is one of my favorites.

There is something so sexy about a man in a black lace teddy, fishnets and high heels. I never cared that Dr. Frank N. Furter was playing God and trying to create his perfect partner. I longed for someone to nickname me after a color or a country. I wanted to drip candle wax down a chained man's back!

The first time I saw RHPS was in college, during a time in my life when I was searching for my own sexual identity. To see bisexuality trumpeted across the silver screen was shocking, but in a good way. It was an over-the-top, silly and sassy musical with a fun plot ripping off both Mary Shelley and cheap Sci Fi movies. A light hearted frolic with a sinister edge (remember Eddie?) and a Time Warp dance. Watching the movie and sneaking glances at the theater patrons around me, gleefully into the audience participation, I had a refining moment. I finally felt at home with myself. After all, if the movie kept selling out night after night, then people really wouldn't fault me for my own proclivities, right?

As you can imagine, I learned the hard way that even though the movie was an instant cult classic, there would still be gay bashing incidents in my young adult years of the 80's and 90's. And a cheesy but fun movie with outlandish characters is no marker for the reality of life, but for that minute in time in the theater, when I held my girlfriend's hand in public for the very first time, it was glorious.

I can't promise angels trumpeting revelations in the sky, but won't you come see Rocky with me?

Eating Roaches in Illinois

Wanna skip the lines and be first on the rides at Six Flags Great America? All you have to do is eat a roach. To be more precise, eat a live two to three inch Madagascar hissing cockroach. The Gurnee, Illinois theme park starts offering this "cut in line" option in October. The upside is unlimited line jumping privileges for you and three of your friends. The downside is you still have to pony up the cost of admission. At least on Fear Factor you get a free trip and the possibility of prize money.

What is Going on With This Blog?

The large pic I posted for my celebrity look alike collage is wide, kicking the margins out of whack and moving my sidebar info way down the page. Dunno how to fix it any way except one...write more posts. I have my blog set to show 4 posts on the page and the rest in archives. Haven't written much in a while, I can definitely do a few posts in one day!

Things I Saw On the Way to Work This Morning

  1. Two angry looking mechanics waving at the traffic and holding an "Early Bird Special! Oil Change $19.99" sign at the Jiffy Lube on S. Lamar.
  2. A crunchy granola looking dude standing in the turn lane trying not to get hit by a car while he waited for a break in traffic so he could finish his dash across to Starbucks.
  3. A really, really attractive man riding a bicycle through the construction area covered walkway in front of the Paggi House area of Lamar.
  4. A group of women on the pedestrian bridge over Lamar by the Amtrak know, the part where you've crossed the river and the underpass has those stupid blue signs that are supposed to be art but look too industrial highway-ish to really make the claim? They had a huge pink banner that said "Code Pink Austin, Texas! End the War!!" and were alternately waving & flashing peace signs to the cars below. I looked online and Code Pink is an Austin based women's peace and social justice movement.
  5. A young blonde business woman click clack clicking up Sixth to her office. She had on a fabulous tan slim skirt and a man tailored striped shirt with sexy heels and I wondered if her office copy guys had running bets on who could get her drunk at happy hour and score.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Friday, September 08, 2006

UT vs. Ohio State & Celebrities...

It's U.T. vs. Ohio State weekend, the Big Game is upon us. A reason to celebrate, to bleed Burnt Orange and to generally have a great time whether we win or lose.

The celebs are in town to cheer on their fav football team. Visiting the Longhorn locker room was the Austin Holy Trinity: Lance, Matthew and Jake. Matthew is gearing up for a blockbuster movie role that requires out of control facial hair. He'll be playing the Brushy Creek Hairy Man in a soon to be released thriller. Or at least that is what I'm hoping, since he appears to have partially swallowed a pomeranian.

Ladies, when you're out tonight in the Warehouse District, give your love to Lance, your kisses to Jake and hand Matthew a Shick Quattro. Find 'em where they like to play: Six Lounge, Fabric, Spin, Foundation and of course, Vicci.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


I like to read Craigslist and see if I know anyone in the Missed Connections sections. Or if someone is looking for me, which never happens. I also like Postsecret, with the mailed in deep secrets anonymously out there for all in to read. I think they are brave, even with their identities safe. Today I came across a combo of CL & Postsecret in this Missed Connections confessional of a posting and the emotion of it made me pause and think about how love can go awry. Here it is:

In my life story, this is your chapter. - w4m

Reply to:
Date: 2006-09-01, 11:09PM CDT

Now its been three years. Four in May. And I was talking last night with her about the first night I met you– how I was bored, how I wandered back into that party on a fluke, how everything has changed since I made a decision to put my high heels back on and come back to you. You were short, and you had on a gold chain– none of this Polo shirts and madras golfing frat-boy gear that came later. I was not impressed, but luckily for you– I was drunk. So I kissed you. I. Kissed. You. Just like that. You drove me home that night, and after what happened between them in the backseat, I never expected to see you again. But we weren’t them....we were us, and you kept calling. You called until last March, when you just stopped. Because I was in love with you. Because you loved me, but you weren’t in love with me. Because you could see that it could never be less than the dizzy, lusting, drive 200 miles in the middle of the night, stutter over words because you think you might pass out kind of affair that it was. Not for me. Because when you surprised me at my door after 2 years overseas with an early flight home, I dropped 3 glass platters on the concrete threshold to my apartment. Then I sat down on the pavement, because I was not sure I could stand up. Because 3 months after we stopped speaking, in Europe, a stranger at a dinner table mentioned your highschool, and then mentioned your name, and I couldn’t explain to anyone why I was crying. Because it didn’t make sense, that someone who was my everything was really nothing at all. Not on facebook– Status: Single. Not to friends. But every night, every night, every night– we were. Because when we watched a movie together we never got past the opening credits. Because when I wore another man’s engagement ring, I let you twist it around, and hold my face and kiss me and remind me that WE had existed. Because for two years you called. Every night. Goodnight babe, I love you. Because we said I love you, and we meant it. Because you were always The One, and you always will be, and I never really had you at all.

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