Monday, August 15, 2005

Perhaps I Share Too Much, Too Often

It's pretty definite that I drive my boyfriend crazy. I live my life under the idea that sharing how you feel is a good thing. The problem is, I overshare. Often. For example, I have been very sensitive lately. I was fairly sure that my hormones were starting their normal monthly uproar when I realized that I wanted to shower Frank with affection. I didn't just want to hug him and kiss him, I wanted to engulf him in a long, smothering embrace and kiss him all over his handsome face. The urge passed almost as quickly as it began and I was amused by it. So I told him. He stared at me like I was a mad stalker girl conning my way into his living room by masquerading as the Time Warner cable installer. I backpedaled as fast as I could and reminded him that he wouldn't have known if I hadn't told him. So why did I?

Why do I always feel the need to tell Frank exactly how I feel? I tell him in detail how I feel about him, about us, about his new home...pretty much anything and everything. I think I talk so much in our relationship that he doesn't have a chance to share how he feels. The flip side of this coin is when I do go through a quiet period, I get the "what's wrong?" questions. Apparently silencing me is tantamount to convincing the Pope to stop praying. I know my early adult years were spent feeling mostly misunderstood, so I place some of the blame there. I guess I need to learn to trust that Frank, along with my close friends, know me well enough to discern how I feel without hearing all the infinite details.

7 comments:

Frederick Reinhardt said...

Haven't I told you before that the true measure of any relationship is being able to enjoy the awkward silent times? Maybe that's why we've been friends for so long? Now shut the F* up! :-)

Kaya said...

:-P
We enjoyed the silent times on our ride to MOW today. I enjoy the silent times with Frank, too...when I finally stop my stream-of-consciousness nearly constant babbling. In fact, I'm sure he enjoys the silent times!!

Juliabohemian said...

women, by nature, disclose as a part of their attempt to gain intimacy. Men do not have this instinct. It's perfectly natural for you to want to share your feelings with him. But, some things can either be kept to yourself or shared with a girlfriend instead. Some thoughts and ideas are lost on them anyway, because they either don't understand or can't relate.

TwinKim said...

"Just lucky, I guess".

That was me answering myself, silently for a change, when I wondered how my husband feels about my constant communication flow. I, too, talk and share incessantly. I tell Mike EVERYTHING and always how I feel, what I feel, how what I feel is different than five minutes ago and even how I'd like to feel instead or may be feeling in half an hour. His response? He loves to hear me. He wants to know. Yes, sometimes he gets a little aggravated, particularly if my sharing is interrupting one of his self-proclaimed "Greatest Movies Ever" but he always leaves me feeling heard, reassured, challenged or whatever it was that I was seeking through my sharings. What's even better is that Mike shares with me, too. His is not at the same humungous level of inner monologue sharing but nonetheless, I usually always know how he is feeling and what he's thinking about. We aren't always talking but we are always communing. Even in the silent times. :-) Just lucky, I guess.

Kaya said...

Don't get the wrong impression from my post. Frank does talk to me about how he's feeling and shares his emotional ups and downs. He values my thoughts and emotions. But I know that he also has to sift through the chaff a lot of the time. And those are the moments when I cease prattling on and on and look up from whatever I'm doing to find him staring at me as if he's trying to decide if I truly am insane or merely amusing. Then I know it's time for a bit of silence.

Enlargement said...

I will pop back in from time to time to see what you have new here.

My site is a bit different than yours, but just as entertaining and educational, I run a enhancement enhancement enlargement male male penis pill pills.com size related site pertaining to enhancement enhancement enlargement male male penis pill pills.com size related articles.

musica said...

YOUR BLOG IS GOOD, IT IS REALLY NICE. HERE YOU CAN LEARM MORE ABOUT penis enlargement product TO FIND penis enlargement product