Screw You, Cupid

I hate Valentine's Day. There, I've said it. I think I've had only one, maybe two good VD's, ever. And even those had drama attached---or whisperings of drama to come.

No, I'm not dating anyone. No, I've never been married. Yes, I've been in long term relationships. Some of my exes are actually still speaking to me. Well, wait....at least one. Would I be lying if I said I wasn't bitter? You betcha. At least I admit it, own it. I'm bitter because I'm no one's Valentine. So this year I'm pooh poohing the holiday. Screw you, Cupid.

One of my good Valentine Day's was when I had a different date for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The drama was that I was in a relationship and obviously a cheating player. I think perhaps I haven't paid that karma off yet. It's doomed all the VD's to follow. My bad karma is still hanging over me. Damnit, why couldn't I have been a good girl when I was younger? I'm paying the price now.

Last year was good, but those of you in the know just winced. Uh huh. At least I can laugh about Bradley's chocolate box. Bradley had the sweetest smelling chocolate box ever. And he had cherubs flying out of his chocolate box. You know I adore you, Sperm Donor. Let me know if you're working on Wednesday...so I can stop by to sniff your chocolate box again.

I am going to put my free time tomorrow to good use and go throw my panties onstage at Trophy's. The Humiliators storm the stage at 9pm. Nothing says "I love you" like my thong landing on the bass player, right? Who wants to meet up with me? B.Y.O.C.C. Bring your own calcones & cash....Trophy's does not accept credit cards. They's old skool.

I'm not the only person who feels this way. Like the card I saw on Postsecret today, which is posted at the top of the blog. Yes, I have company out there. I think our spot is ready at the restaurant of Love. "Bitter, party of thousands, your table is ready. Bitter?"

So smack me on the ass and tell me it gets better. That we pair off like Noah's animals on the ark. That one day my prince will come. Or tell me that this is reality and I need to shut up, stop whining and make the best of my world.

And to those of you whom I love with all my heart, you know that you are my Valentines. My friends, familia and my special R-M family...I heart you all.

In the desert

I saw a creature, naked, bestial,

Who, squatting upon the ground,

Held his heart in his hands,

And ate of it.

I said, "Is it good, friend?"

"It is bitter—bitter," he answered;

"But I like it

"Because it is bitter,"

And because it is my heart."

—Stepen Cranefrom The Black Riders and Other Lines