Let's Change that Due Date, Okay?

We only thought we were having a March baby. Due to my body's freakish ways with growing a baby, we anticipate a February baby. No, Ryder isn't oversized, but thanks for asking. I realize I am now the size of a small house. I prefer the term "cottage-proportioned". I really haven't gained much weight, a total of 15lbs so far. Sorry, back to the topic at hand.

With my placenta previa not wandering about like we'd hoped, the docs have decided it just isn't in the best interest of my health to allow me to enter my last month of pregnancy. There were vivid discussions of what could happen should I naturally enter labor and they all made it sound as if the prom scene in the movie Carrie was simply a small accident involving a sippy cup of cherry Kool-Aid. Hence the lovely photo with this posting.

Ryder is doing well, chilling out in utero and practicing his soccer kicks or grand jeté or bass drum pedal kicks (he likes variety). He's about 3.5lbs right now and has also learned to simultaenously elbow check me while kicking the opposite foot out. Talented, my boy.

My Spawn is an Early Morning Baby

And he's also a late night baby. He doesn't seem much interested in mid-day. I was hoping he'd sync to my schedule but he appears to be truly both his mother & his father's child. Of course he's still in utero so who knows what he'll be like once he makes his appearance? Apparently he will know how to wake me up, as he did at 7am, kicking against the pillow wedged under my side. He doesn't care much (read: hates) anything confining or binding, such as my pants waistline or my seatbelt. I've tossed the notion of a sweet, swaddled papoose baby and am hoping to at least keep clothes on him.

I'm a little freaked out that I have only 10 weeks until I'm due. Ten. Two months and 2 weeks. Smoke 'em if ya got 'em cause I sure can't. Babydaddy is hoping for a great report next week at the January OB/gyn and high risk prenatalist appointments. We'll find out if my placenta wandered off anymore. I went from a fully centered over the cervix placenta previa to a 50% previa. For those of you reading this that are scratching your head and saying "huh?", here is a simple explanation: Previa is a fancy word for "the exit is blocked by the placenta, who apparently wants to keep you pregnant forever, but the doctors have this great surgical thing called a c-section that ensures you will not look like Mama Cass forever AND they get the scratch they need to book their next trip to the Azores".

But I digress. Jaime is excited about the impending birth but is, in reality, pulling for a c-section. He is completely freaked out by the idea of a regular, shoot 'em out the nether regions process. In fact, when he reads this blog post he will most likely turn a medium shade of puce and feel light headed. I'm not certain I'm thrilled with either method, but if I can have a regular birth I will, if only to discover the limits of my pain threshold. Yup, I want the option of an epidural & good drugs but only after I stubbornly hold out to see if I can do it all naturally and such. (The latter part of that sentence was typed in a redneck accent). If we find out that my previa has moved enough to even consider the possibility of a regular birth then I'm going to enroll in a birthing class that will teach me the stages of labor, breathing & relaxation techniques. I am Woman, Hear Me Roar. C'mon, sing it with me.

The Month of December, in Bullet Points

It's been one busy month. Here is my synopsis, in bullet points:

• Show Us Your Goods 2nd Annual December Shopstravaganza was a rousing success. Thank you, Brad Womack, for hosting us at Molotov Lounge. We raised cash & took in a sizeable amount of clothing donations for our local Dress For Success affiliate.
• The baby is getting bigger. At my monthly weigh in, I found I've gained 14lbs over all. Ryder is a little over 2lbs of that. If his movements are any indication, we'll be raising either the next Baryshnikov or Neil Peart.
• I didn't finish my Christmas shopping until the 24th. Ehh, what's new?
• We were able to move into our new house, although not all the renovations are complete. Our friend & contractor, Keith, rocks! He is my 2nd favorite man in South ATX.
• I missed yet another Red Dress Pub Run. I have a great excuse with Ryder but I was planning on being at one or two bars to snap pics. Kim was flying in that day but her plane was delayed due to weather so instead of gathering blackmail material I was at a late dinner with the family. I really wanted Kim to see the crazy Austin Duathletes decked out in their holiday hooker red. Next year!
• We had a "future in-laws meet & greet" with Jaime's family and mine. Everyone had a great time and ignored the unpacked boxes, bags and partial flooring. We were gifted with black metal hoop firewood racks, a set of wooden tv trays and a family photo album with the family tree and copies of very old pictures of Jaime's relatives dating back to the late 1800's. Nifty!!
• My sister scrubbed the nasty guest bathroom before the in-law soiree. To give you an idea of how dirty it was (including construction dust & grime), the next day she had sore abs, arms & glutes. I cheered her on and retired to the kitchen, barefoot & pregnant, to make several pans of enchiladas. Danny & Kela had dropped in so they were pressed into kitchen duty as well. Thanks!
• The San Antonio familia threw a surprise baby shower for me. I was completely unaware that planning had been going on for months. It was awesome! And Jaime got to meet a little more of my family.
• Santa brought Jaime a big, flat screen HDTV. I gave him a Wii. He's a happy boy, err, man. I scored huge with shiny & sharp knives for the kitchen, a new comforter set and front loading washer & dryer. Jaime also has a new Craftsman three tiered tool storage cabinet. On wheels. How cool is that? There's much more giftwise, but these were the large prezzies. We were spoiled this year, big time.
• Jaime went hunting with my father today. I was worried this would be a "two go out but only one comes back" scenario but luckily my Dad likes Jaime a lot. Sadly, no bambi was killed today. They'll try again Friday morning to fill our freezer with future meals.

And now you're up to date. What's going on in your busy lives?

Editorial note: For whatever reason, the bullet points don't show up. Oh well. It's December in paragraphs instead.

Rush Right Out & Buy These Christmas CD's!

Here's a list of Christmas music that is guaranteed to be much more interesting than the Muzak stylings so often heard during the holiday season. Better yet, I've linked them to their Amazon site for easy purchasing.

1. "Codependent Christmas" by Austin's own Therapy Sisters. Sweetly irreverent.
2. "Monster Ballads XMAS" is a perfect blend of Queensryche, Dokken, Twisted Sister and much more, an 80's hair band extravaganza of carols.
3. "Christmas Island" is Jimmy Buffett's take on holiday sound. Make a pitcher of margaritas and listen to this as you trim the tree.
4. Or if martinis, not ritas are your thing, give a listen to "Christmas With the Rat Pack".
5. "Christmas A Go Go" is on my 'must buy' list. This disc has Keith Richards singing "Run Rudolph Run"...that alone makes me want it. With artists from Brian Setzer to Soupy Sales and even the Ramones, you can't find a better mix.
6. "The Christmas Album" by Air Supply. Shut up, you know you love them.
7. "Ho Ho Ho" by Rupaul. His version of "All I Want For Christmas" is hysterical.
8. Cyndi Lauper's "Merry Christmas...Have a Nice Life!" is sheer genius. Buy it.
9. "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics". Degenerate but for South Park fans, it's a no brainer for what to play as background music while you're wrapping presents.
10. "Christmas Gumbo" will satisfy you with what you're craving, if what you're craving is a bluesy, zydeco and jazzed up Christmas. Among others, it has Art & Aaron Neville and Beausoleil...need I say more?