My Problem With Erectile Dysfunction

Apparently, I can't get it up. At least that's what the bombardment of emails yesterday and today have informed me. Some samples of what I've been receiving:

• For your wife's last b-day you gave her a vibrator because of your hopeless Erectile Dysfunction. By taking our new Soft Cialis Tabs you are bound to give her the best sex ever instead of miserable "battery dick".
• You always wanted to use your penis as a billiards cue. With our new Soft Cialis Tabs you can even have sex with your ex.
• Do you want to do something useful in your life? Advice your friend Soft Cialis Tabs for the best erection.

I'm wondering...what model did I buy my wife? When did I grow a penis? And which of my friends is actually suffering from erectile dysfunction? Would a man really want to use his penis as a pool cue?

I've learned that "even if you have no erection problems, Soft Cialis will help you to make BETTER SEX MORE OFTEN and to bring unimaginable pleasure to her." Hmmm...I'd like to have sex, especially better sex and more often. But my imagination is pretty doggone active. I don't know if I could handle pleasure that is beyond my imagination. At least not without bruising and possibly a sprain or two. I kinda thought my future sex partner(s) would be male but I guess I shouldn't be so picky. After all, beggars can't be choosers.

I hope that the valid commercials for Soft Cialis Tabs have a more successful ad campaign. I tried googling it, but here's what came up (no pun intended):

• Do you want to see the fountain of sperm? Try our new Soft Cialis.
• You think you need a crane to lift your dick? Soft Cialis is the way to do it.
• Soft Cialis Tabs is the new impotence drug that everyone is talking about.
• You can drive or mix alcohol drinks with Cialis.

One website announced in large, bold font that you can get rock hard in 20 minutes and that it is the only 4 day erection. Yikes. And you guys thought it was embarrassing in junior high when you'd get up in class to write something on the chalkboard and suddenly realize you had wood. Can you imagine if it lasted 4 days? What if you popped a Soft Cialis before a date but she bails at the last minute? That's a 4 day reminder that you didn't even get to first base.

Oldies, Schmoldies

I'm listening to a radio station that bills itself as a friendly local station that's owned by some guy named Bob who remembers all kinds of stuff about Austin: the long gone Aquafest, when Cedar Park was really out of town, and when the women walking down S. Congress were actually trying to make rent money...you get the picture. It's actually a clever marketing campaign for a national radio chain, but hey, they play all kinds of music so who cares?

Anyway, in the past hour I've heard Cheap Trick's "I Want You to Want Me", Elton John's "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" and Foreignor's "Cold as Ice". All older songs but still good ones. What other radio station would play these and then follow it with Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World"?

I'm loving the oldies today as I sing along with Huey Lewis' "Heart & Soul".

Happy Summer Solstice Birthday, Frank!

Today is Midsummer, the day of Frank's birthday. He's a solstice baby. The moon during this time period is called a "honey moon" from the honeyed mead traditionally drunk after pagan wedding celebrations held on this day. Well, there won't be any honeyed mead served at his celebratory dinner tonight, but I'm sure a few of us will toast him with some type of alcoholic bevie.

The summer solstice is traditionally a time to savor the accomplishments of the hard work done during the last season. It's a time for entertainment and pleasure, a little overindulgance and gratification. It's a celebration of light and fire and a time to concentrate on cleansing and renewal while enjoying love and growth. What a delightful day to be born on!

Have a very happy birthday, Frank.

"A posse ad esse"

Revisiting Brokeback

A while back, one of my myspace friends, Richard, posted a comment about Brokeback Mountain that prompted me to think about the movie. I was familiar with Annie Proulx, having read "The Shipping News", a novel written before her short story of two cowboys fighting for and against their attraction. Anxious to see the story on the big screen, I went with a group of friends to an opening night performance.

My first impressions were a mixed bag of sadness and an urge to declare that the act of loving someone of the same gender is to be embraced, not shunned. I also mulled over the scenes where the characters each allow their intense emotions to spill out. The scene where Ennis is crying after walking away from Jack comes to mind, as does the reunion between the two years later. Although I can debate that two closeted men would engage in such heated kissing within mere seconds after seeing each other after some 4 years, it was unarguably an impassioned, all-consuming moment.

I remember when I had those kinds of feelings. I can remember being so wild about someone that even being around her made me nervous and jittery enough to feel queasy, giving new meaning to the word 'lovesick'. I can recall a boyfriend who elicited fierce feelings of desire and longing that were almost animalistic in nature. I have confused love with lust and craved someone so deeply that I believed I was in love. I've ridden the highs of ardor and I've spiraled down to hit the rocky bottom of the lows of rejection as well.

The odd part is that these raging emotions are almost completely confined to my late teens and my twenties. Not that I'm claiming that I haven't felt incredibly deep emotions as a more mature adult---God knows I have. But my deepest, truest and most ardent feelings were not the hormonally charged roller coaster of my younger years. They've tempered like steel into a woman owned essence of love.

Which leads me to examine the leading ladies in the film. Alma & Lureen, wife to Ennis and Jack, respectively. I didn't feel sorry for the wives even though they married the men they loved but didn't get the life they expected. It was obvious that Lureen, the spoiled rich girl, was unhappy that Jack spent his vacations visiting Ennis. Whether or not she had discovered his predilection for men, it was obvious did not respect her husband. And Alma, who early on accidentally sees the men kissing, grabbing and groping like horny teens, spends the rest of her marriage embittered but silent.

Years after her divorce and re-marriage, Alma brings up the subject of Jack to Ennis and reveals to him that she knew they didn't actually go fishing on their trips. A mean confrontation ensues in which Ennis is a grade A ugly jerk. While most would wonder what was the point in bringing up the subject after many years, I thought it most telling. Alma, despite her unhappiness with Ennis' inability to keep a steady paycheck and his passion for Jack, still loved him. Pure and simple. She had divorced Ennis and accepted the attention of another man whom she saw as a kind friend. And she settled. She wanted a husband, a lover, a friend. A father to her children. But she settled, exchanging a deep love for solid devotion.

So now, months after seeing the movie, I not only empathize with the bond between the men, but also understand the love of their wives. Now I realize that the phone call between Lureen and Ennis had deeper meaning than a newly widowed woman being intentionally tactless with her husband's lover. I think she finally had some comprehension, some insight into their relationship, and as a final act of love gave Ennis more information than a wife would give her late husband's fishing buddy.

Love is a strange, strange thing.