Things I See On My Way to Work

You know, I see some normal stuff and then some weird things. I see good stuff & bad. I see a lot. I see dead people, too, but that's off topic for this post. Here are things I've seen on my commute in the past week. And let me just say I love Austin and all it's freak flag flying ways.

1. A goth-guy dressed all in black and sportin' a ginormous cherry red mohawk (seriously, at least 7" out from his skull) waiting for the bus. I see him often since he lives near my 'hood. I always admire his hair and then wonder when goth kids starting wearing emo skinny jeans?

2. A rock sculpture in the front yard of a house I pass every M-F. The sculpture is one that looks like a strong puff of air would blow it over but it stays upright anyway. One day I'll stop and take a picture of it. It's oddly asymmetrical with smaller rocks positioned under larger ones. Kind of like this one, but not so pretty:

3. A man peeing on the side of a music rental store. He was kind enough to turn mostly away from traffic. It was cold out, so I imagine his penis was teeny & shrunken.

4. Not one but two people dressed up like Uncle Sam in red, white & blue tuxedos with top hats trying to wave the morning rush hour traffic into the parking lot of a tax preparation business. Because having your employees dress up in what appears to be a desecrated American flag guarantees you'll get my business.

5. The Taste No Evil muffin trolley. Well, at least a side view from the street when I pass by. My gay ex-husband turned me on to these delicious treats this week, introducing me to the owner, Karisa. I have since spent each day this week resisting the urge to turn into the lot and get a muffin or a dozen. These are tastylicious and tantalizing must-have muffs. We went on a day when the Blueberry Buttermilk Bliss muffins "accidentally" had an extra load of blueberries added to the mix. I think it was all an unaccidental plot to coerce me into muffin love...and it worked. I've had no cupcake cravings since tasting Karisa's muffins. Here, ripped off from my ex's blog are pics of the trolley and a muffin. You have got to go by and have one or seven. My next choice will be Chocolate Sinsation...a dark chocolate delight that is rumored to be better than Democrats in the White House, sex on any given occasion and having someone else clean your home for a year.

And...don't be fooled by the pic, these are NOT small muffins. The angle doesn't show off the muffin very much but my pics I took with my crappy camera phone didn't come out at all, so this is what you get, peeps. Just remember I rarely ever steer anyone wrong with my food rec's...so hightail it over to TNE and savor the flavors.

8.5 Months Pregnant

A few thoughts...

• If another person tells me that my not sleeping more than 1.5 hours at a stretch is "preparation for when the baby wakes you up to eat" I may just lose my mind. (No offense to my friends who've said it). I realize it's true but hey, I just want to sleep longer. Last night I got in a 3 hour nap from midnight to 3am and thought it was the best thing since Bud Light was invented.
• Speaking of adult bevies, the reason I slept for 3 hours last night was ultimately because of the 2 fingers of white wine Jaime gave me to drink at bedtime. My first cocktail since my Tom Jones Girls Gone Wild Gambling Adventure at the end of June 2008.
• My baby boy has begun developing quite the personality in utero. So far he has made it clear that he does not tolerate hard sleeping surfaces at all. If my body pillow somehow un-wedges from beneath my belly while I'm asleep, he will kick continually at the bed until I wake up and replace it. Then it's back to sleep for him while I have to get up, pee, get back in bed and get comfortable before maybe falling asleep.
• Trust me when I say that getting up & back into bed isn't easy when you're this pregnant. Turning over is a feat in itself.
• I feel much like a thanksgiving day parade float, lumbering down the street no matter if I'm actually on a sidewalk or going down the office hallway. The good thing is, most people like parade floats. People in general are so much nicer to pregnant women than to anyone else.

Let's Change that Due Date, Okay?

We only thought we were having a March baby. Due to my body's freakish ways with growing a baby, we anticipate a February baby. No, Ryder isn't oversized, but thanks for asking. I realize I am now the size of a small house. I prefer the term "cottage-proportioned". I really haven't gained much weight, a total of 15lbs so far. Sorry, back to the topic at hand.

With my placenta previa not wandering about like we'd hoped, the docs have decided it just isn't in the best interest of my health to allow me to enter my last month of pregnancy. There were vivid discussions of what could happen should I naturally enter labor and they all made it sound as if the prom scene in the movie Carrie was simply a small accident involving a sippy cup of cherry Kool-Aid. Hence the lovely photo with this posting.

Ryder is doing well, chilling out in utero and practicing his soccer kicks or grand jeté or bass drum pedal kicks (he likes variety). He's about 3.5lbs right now and has also learned to simultaenously elbow check me while kicking the opposite foot out. Talented, my boy.

My Spawn is an Early Morning Baby

And he's also a late night baby. He doesn't seem much interested in mid-day. I was hoping he'd sync to my schedule but he appears to be truly both his mother & his father's child. Of course he's still in utero so who knows what he'll be like once he makes his appearance? Apparently he will know how to wake me up, as he did at 7am, kicking against the pillow wedged under my side. He doesn't care much (read: hates) anything confining or binding, such as my pants waistline or my seatbelt. I've tossed the notion of a sweet, swaddled papoose baby and am hoping to at least keep clothes on him.

I'm a little freaked out that I have only 10 weeks until I'm due. Ten. Two months and 2 weeks. Smoke 'em if ya got 'em cause I sure can't. Babydaddy is hoping for a great report next week at the January OB/gyn and high risk prenatalist appointments. We'll find out if my placenta wandered off anymore. I went from a fully centered over the cervix placenta previa to a 50% previa. For those of you reading this that are scratching your head and saying "huh?", here is a simple explanation: Previa is a fancy word for "the exit is blocked by the placenta, who apparently wants to keep you pregnant forever, but the doctors have this great surgical thing called a c-section that ensures you will not look like Mama Cass forever AND they get the scratch they need to book their next trip to the Azores".

But I digress. Jaime is excited about the impending birth but is, in reality, pulling for a c-section. He is completely freaked out by the idea of a regular, shoot 'em out the nether regions process. In fact, when he reads this blog post he will most likely turn a medium shade of puce and feel light headed. I'm not certain I'm thrilled with either method, but if I can have a regular birth I will, if only to discover the limits of my pain threshold. Yup, I want the option of an epidural & good drugs but only after I stubbornly hold out to see if I can do it all naturally and such. (The latter part of that sentence was typed in a redneck accent). If we find out that my previa has moved enough to even consider the possibility of a regular birth then I'm going to enroll in a birthing class that will teach me the stages of labor, breathing & relaxation techniques. I am Woman, Hear Me Roar. C'mon, sing it with me.