I'm just not feeling it. I'm not in a festive mood. I'm not eagerly unpacking my cd's of Christmas carols or anticipating how pretty the tree will look when we decorate. I know it's because of our money crunch. I can't afford to window shop these days. I love buying presents for friends and family but there's just no extra money for much. I know we'll buy Ryder one or two small things, since it's his first Christmas. And we'll get my parents a little something. Jaime and I have agreed on a joint Christmas gift that's practical, useful and needed (and not pricey). With these restrictions, it's just not that easy to get into the spirit of the season. Not the whole "what am I scoring for gifts" part, but the giving. I love the giving part.
I have to figure out a way to retool my thinking. I can't do much but I could buy a few cans of tuna and a jar of peanut butter for the food bank. And I'm still delivering Meals on Wheels. If I use my social media outlets to promote the charitable events going on around town then it's giving, in a different way. Maybe then I won't feel so glum about the season.
And I need to remember that the catalyst for the celebration is the birth of Jesus. As far as I know he didn't have much in the way of physical things to give away. Of course there was that whole nifty water-to-wine trick and the loaves & fishes buffet. But 90% of what JC was all about couldn't be seen or heard or touched. It could be felt, though. I need to focus on the purpose of Christmas and maybe then I'll have the courage to untangle the Christmas lights.
